Hi and welcome to my ~*Bl0g*~ (says every millennial white girl). Look I know what you’re thinking: ‘ugh another one,’ ‘her too?,’ ‘literally why.’ Hey all of those are super valid reactions. In fact, I’ve had them myself so vehemently I’ve been putting this off for quite a long time. But life is just too entertaining now for me to postpone this any longer. So please, sit back and join me as we use word vomit, occasional humor, and pictures of my dog as semi-healthy coping mechanisms to really just soak in all of life’sTREATS.
An intro post seems overwhelming so I’m not gonna try to explain anything that’s led me to this point. We’re just gonna jump right in to Sunday, July 28. My best friends blog naggings have reached an all time high and I’m feeling like a brand new person with exceptionally clean hair so let’s dive in. For the past 2 months I’ve been showering using my left arm only because my right has a tube in it (a PICC if you’d like to get proper) so you can imagine the ~lack of~ thoroughness in my hair washing. I should also note that showering is often so exhausting, I have to take a break and sit down halfway through. Sometimes I just quit. Cause who really needs to be clean when your weekly schedule looks like this?
- Monday: hyperbaric oxygen chamber, IV antibiotics, nap
- Tuesday: hyperbaric oxygen chamber, IV antibiotics, acupuncture, nap
- Wednesday: hyperbaric oxygen chamber, IV antibiotics, lymph drainage appointment, nap
- Thursday: hyperbaric oxygen chamber, IV antibiotics, some other appointment because there is always one, nap
- Friday: IV antibiotics, nap
Fridays are just a real vacation. I downgrade to only one appointment giving me ample time to do other things. The options are endless. My naps take anywhere from 2-4 hours, but what ever will I do with the rest of this free time!! Sometimes the choices overwhelm me. Netflix, Amazon Prime Video, or Hulu? TV show or movie? Something I’ve seen or something new?
At this point you’re probably thinking to yourself, ‘wtf, those aren’t choices.’ And for your normal person brain, they probably aren’t. But at this time I have been graced with a special brain.
I’m healing from Lyme Disease, and it’s infiltrated every part of my body and mind.
Let me share a little anecdote to give you some insight. Before my mom washed my hair in the kitchen sink for me because I only have full use of one arm, I went online to try to pick out a new bed frame. Mind you I’ve been trying to do this for 3 weeks, but every time I try I get so overwhelmed I have a meltdown because sometimes I can’t read words right anymore and sometimes my eyes get really blurry and I can’t see right anymore, and then I just get really tired and have to go back to bed. After 3 weeks you can imagine my determination. I’M A 22 YEAR OLD LADY WITH A BACHELORS OF SCIENCE AND I WANNA PICK OUT MY VERY OWN BIG GIRL BED ALL BY MYSELF!!!! So today was the day. I was gonna do it.
About 3 hours into the process, I was getting somewhere. Made some progress, found things I liked. But then I thought to myself ‘better google what this word means just to make sure its the right thing.’ Okay. It wasn’t. Quickly hurtling towards a come apart, I did what anyone would do. I yelled “MOMMY!!” (Oh yeah, I live at home with my parents because I’m not able care of myself and manage all my treatments right now. Pride? Dignity? Don’t know them!) My mom did what moms do best, talked me down. Explained what a platform bed is and how that’s different than a panel bed and how a panel bed is really kinda just a different name for a standard bed and how those need box springs, but not actually all of them do and some of them you can just have slats because mattresses are different now and come in boxes. Or something.
Long story short. If I was to order what I thought I needed after trying to read about things I would have a mattress on the floor surrounded by a bed frame. Essentially a grown up crib. But would that really be so bad??
Maybe not. But I think it would be better if I was able to understand what I actually needed and get that for myself. The reality is, I can’t do that right now. I can’t wash my hair by myself, or pick out a bed frame by myself like the bad bitch that is buried somewhere deep inside my sick body.
And ya know what, that is okay!!!! (I aggressively tell myself in attempt to convince myself it is)
All of that to say…
Life is a little shambly.
So I truly hope you’ll join me as I begin to document the (often humorous) realities of my ‘doctor strongly suggested’ gap year.
Sure, I’m taking a break between undergrad and Physical Therapy school to heal from Lyme Disease, but my hope for this little corner of the internet is not that it becomes yet another place solely identified in illness. Life is more than the treats it throws at you, I’m more than Lyme, and this ~*Bl0g*~ is more than another millennial girl writing about her life.
Please consider this the most genuine invitation to join me. (Read: I desperately need some more internet friends because I cannot leave my house very often.)
Until Next Whine,